Thursday, November 5, 2009

Work in progress

Peter "Gabriel" Abraham picked up his pace. He had no time to lose. It was starting to get dark around him. Clouds had gathered overhead and there was a sense of gloom in the air. A cat meowed in the distance and an old homeless man rummaging through a trashcan paused to have a look at him. The man considered the stranger for a moment and went back to his business, clearly uninterested. The wind was beginning to pick up speed and Peter had to adjust his hat more than once; but he kept on walking. He had less than an hour to complete his task.

He had barely walked ten paces down the alley when Peter found himself staring at the dead-end ahead. It was lit by a single Sodium lamp and the light was casting eerie shadows on the brick walls nearby. The sun appeared to have set. Or maybe it was her, thought Peter. He could see there was a figure moving impatiently in the shadows. Lucy had arrived.

“You’re late,” spat Lucy.

“I got held up,” said Peter nervously.

Lucy stepped closer to him and as the light hit her face Peter could tell she was trying hard to suppress her anger. Brow furrowed and jaws clenched, she had an air of someone ready to kill.

The Tracker gave Peter a piercing stare. Her cold, dark eyes seemed to bore into his, as if she was trying to read his every thought. It did nothing to improve his nerves.

“Where is it?” she demanded.

“Somewhere safe.”

“Somewhere safe? Somewhere safe? I thought I told you to bring it to me!”

“Well,” said Peter, still nervous but not giving in, “it’s safer where it is right now. In any case, I couldn’t have removed it even if I wanted to. He wouldn’t have let me.”

“Then you should’ve fought for it, fool,” snapped Lucy.

“I didn’t want to.”

There was a pause. Peter could hear the distant rumbling of thunder.

“Why ever not?” she asked curtly

“I… I’m no match for him.”

“You’re pathetic,” she spat again.

“I’m sorry,” said Peter, and he meant it.

“You’re sorry? No, Gabriel, you’re not sorry. Not yet, anyway.”

Peter looked at her.

“Kneel!” she commanded.

Peter did as he was told. He didn’t know what Lucy was about to do but he hoped and prayed she would be lenient with him. She took his hat and tossed it aside unceremoniously.

Peter watched as it rolled away into a nearby dent.

Lucy put her right hand on his head. Her long, sharp nail dug into his scalp and Peter let out a whimper of pain as she began to draw a line across it. He felt her finger move in the shape of a triangle. Blood started trickling down his hair and Peter watched, horrified, as a big drop of it fell from the tip of his nose to the ground with an audible thwack. His entire body was shaking.

“Get up,” she barked.

13 comments:

Sabby said...

Ooooooh

Anonymous said...

Ado this is good man, you should continue. Seems like a good thriller

=D

The smiley u see there, that was on purpose =P (whooops)

Janith said...

oooh, very Potter-y! :D I love it!

Dulan said...

Very interesting. The only issue is that Peter Gabriel is a pretty well known name (as you may have already heard), so changing that little detail might be in order. :)

The Puppeteer said...

Pretty good! Way to go =)
You use a lot of short sentences at the beginning, you might want to consider giving it a bit of variation. But that's just at the beginning so it's all good =D

Paparé Boy said...

Thanks, guys. :)

@Dulan Aiya - Yeah, I was told about the real Peter Gabriel. Thanks for pointing that out. Made a slight change to his name. :)

@The Puppeteer - Thanks, will give that a thought. :)

Anonymous said...

Ooohh..eerie. Interesting. Very Potter-y, like Chavie says. Lucy reminds me of a female version of Voldemort :P Was wondering if 'crucio' was coming any moment.. hehe. And Peter Pettigrew :P

And the line - “You’re sorry? No, Gabriel, you’re not sorry. Not yet, anyway.” - sooo familiar :P

Would be interesting to see how the characters turn out. I see a good twist coming!

Just my thoughts. Nothing much :)

Dee said...

and soooooooo??? what happenedddddd

Gadgetgirl said...

This is seriously good.

Paparé Boy said...

@thewomanist08 and Chavie - Thanks. :)
Yeah, I see how you can infer a connection to Potter, but the story I'm working on is quite different, although it does have a few similar elements here and there.

And no, there won't be any Animagi on this. :p

@Dee - Well, I have an idea, but nothing concrete yet. Will work on it. :)

@GG - Thanks. :)

Tulie said...

"Work in Progress"???

You a government corporation or what? The work has been stalled long enough - Get on with it :P

Angel said...

What happens next?

Paparé Boy said...

@Tulie - :p

@Angel - I don't know yet. :S Well, I do have a vague idea. But nothing concrete yet. :)