Sunday, February 8, 2009

Twenty questions

1. Why do we have earwax?

2. Why does the moon always look bigger on a Poya day?

3. Why do supposedly nutritious vegetables like bitter gout (karavila) taste so... well... bitter?

4. Why are the Sigiriya frescoes art, and any Sri Lankan movie with a bit of nudity in it is porn?

5. Why do lions have manes when other felines don't?

6. Why is it that in the animal kingdom the male is always better looking than the female? (e.g. - lions, peacocks, all horned animals, elephants, etc.)

7. Why is it that when it comes to humans, it's the other way around? (Women are generally considered more aesthetically pleasing to the eye than men).

8. Why does everything taste "just like chicken"?

9. Why do romantic comedies seem as if it's the same story over and over again with only the characters and places changed?

10. Why is nearly every single movie that revolves around the life of a robot so frickin' depressing? (A.I., The Bicentennial Man)

11. Why do people buy iPods when they already own mobile phones that can play music just as well as any mp3 player in the market?

12. Why do people hero worship the same bunch of daylight robbers called politicians who cheat them, lie to them and steal their hard earned money every single day?

13. Why do most super heroes wear their underwear on the outside?

14. Why do some people buy designer underwear?

15. Why are a majority of fashion designers gay?

16. Why is it that rockers have long hair and rappers have very short hair?

17. Why are disposable cups made of plastic?

18. Why are there no time travelers visiting us from the future?

19. Why is it that in movies aliens only abduct Americans?

20. Why am I writing this?

16 comments:

Sabby said...

oooooooooooooh
Question Question!
Why are you so jobless?! =P

Paparé Boy said...

I really don't know! :D

Anonymous said...

The all knowing Messiah will answer your questions!

1. To fight off infections of course! The wax keeps out the itty-bitty aliens that creep into your ear and take over your brain.

2. 'Cause it's full! Sheez! A two year old could tell you that.

3. 'Cause of the chemicals in cells... Btw they're all bad for you... broccoli, brussel sprouts,peas, bamboo...

4. Come back on Tuesday

5. Coz it's a part of their genetic make up!

6. Says you... -_-

7. 'Cause boys are made of snails and puppy dog tails and girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice!

8. 'Cause it's finger licking good!

9. 'Cause you just watch the same one over and over

10. Not true... Watch Wall.E and... Robots...

11. 'Cause they're fatuous retards

12. Refer 11

13. 'Cause it's snazzy... besides... they need extra protection there in case the villain hits below the belt...

14. *Gasp* You mean you don't wear designer underwear??? Tsk tsk

15. 'Cause the gay gene comes with a sense of style

16. Not true... there are some rappers with dreadlocks...

17. It's a an evil scheme to take over the world... Say no to disposable plastic cups!

18. How do you suppose I got here??? The darn thing is ruddy blooming busted and there are no interdimensional porter boosters here!!! Damn!

19. Refer 4

20. 'Cause you aren't all knowing like the Messiah!

Paparé Boy said...

Thanks, dude. :D

You got most of the answers right, but I'm afraid not even you, the all knowing Messiah, can get all of it right. :p

But, seriously, man, thanks for taking the time. Much appreciated. :)

Sabby said...

The messiah of madness is mad!
Hilarious response though.
Did that answer your questions, PB? =P

Makuluwo said...

20. Jobless fellow aney you are. :P

Anonymous said...

Well duh PB!! You wrote those questions coz you were looking for answers...and the all knowing Messiah did just that. You are indeed lucky boy! :P Your most pressing questions have just bn answered. Are you satisfied?

Paparé Boy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paparé Boy said...

Yeah, I was kinda jobless last night... and uber bored. :\

@Sabby - Nope. Those were not the answers I was looking for. :p

Jerry said...

"11. 'Cause they're fatuous retards"

Oh EXCUSE ME for wanting better sounding music, you savages :P

No, not an apple.

Also,
8. Because chicken is the basic building block of all life. Like the cell, but just bigger. Chickens themsleves are sort of like... shrubs.

Paparé Boy said...

Jerry, but what about phones like the Nokia XpressMusic series?

TheWhacksteR said...

1. for a reason to dig

2. cos even werewolves like to party

3. cos nutrition is bad for you

4. cos modern sri lankans dont know how to pull it off?

5. cos their lions dufus, they're supposed to

6. that is compliance with the natural order of things

7. it is?

8. cos your tongue isbuilt to taste only chicken

9. romantic comedies are a retarded art form. period.

10. haha! cos people so want to be robots that the only way we can console ourselves is to make them look sadder in the movies. Not so in I-robot though.

11. cos i pods are cool, retard.

12. cos people are short sighted and afraid of the future

13. cos their superheroes and like to show off their difference? why the fuck do you think they wear a cape then?

14. cos they can afford it

15. cos its a gay persons world out there

16. cos rockers rock and rappers rap

17. cos their easier to dispose of

18. cos they keep landing on top of their grandfathers

19. cos americans are the perfect specimens

20. cos you're jobless. oh wait, thats me!

Jerry said...

PB - Nah, both me and my brother have two different walkman phones, they both sound more or less the same, and I tried out a few XpressMusic models. They sound slightly... different.

But my dedicated player(yet another walkman) still sounds noticeably better, while having many more 'just for music' stuff in it.

And no, the iphone's ipod still doesn't have a custom eq yet either.

....afaik...
:D

Paparé Boy said...

@TheWhacktseR - And I thought I had it bad.

Thanks for the answers, man. :)

And, needless to say, I respectfully disagree with nearly all of them. :p

TheWhacksteR said...

you disagree that romantic comedies are a rtarded art form? *is shocked* what kind of man ARE you? :P

Paparé Boy said...

I said "nearly" all of them. :p

Romantic comedies are not an art form, retarded or otherwise.