I mean seriously, isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
What makes a nice guy less appealing than, say, a backstabbing jerk who'd dump you for your best friend without a moment's hesitation?
As kids all of us were taught by our parents and teachers that being NICE is the way to go. You be nice to the world, and the world will not bite your ass. You treat the ladies like a gentleman and they will at least CONSIDER going out with you.
But we ALL know that that's not the case. AT ALL! I mean look around you. The hottest chicks are dating the biggest jerks you know.
I'm not a nice guy (ladies, please take note of that :D). Well I am, but I'm not THAT nice. My ex-girlfriend didn't think I was very nice to her while we were breaking up and she was probably right. But then don't all couples tend to feel that way when they're going through a bad break up? (Yes, I'm trying not to sound guilty).
Anyway, I'm generally considered a relatively nice guy. A nice-o-meter would give me a 7.5. :p
OK fine, I'm a VERY nice guy. But in my defence, I can be pretty nasty when I'm angry. Not that I ever get violent or anything but I tend to use the F word a lot when I'm pissed. However I have gotten into a couple of fistfights here and there; but then that was only because I had to defend myself.
Generally, I'm cool and don't look for trouble even in the face of extreme provocation; not that I have ever really been provoked as such, but you get the drift. However there are times when I'm so driven up the wall that I just HAVE to deal with it in a physical way, and I do that by taking out my mountain bike and riding it for miles and miles, non-stop, till I my legs start to feel like lead. And I suppose even THAT doesn't make me a non-nice-guy. Argh! But I digress.
Getting back to the point I was trying to make, or rather, the question I was trying to raise, WHY do nice guys finish last? Or do they really? Is it just one of those popular misconceptions or is there really some truth to it?
I just don't get it, man.
4 weeks ago
29 comments:
Very interesting question!
I think by 'nice' what they mean is like, ubernice... like the opposite extreme of shrewd and calculating.
So I guess what the saying is trying to convey is that if you're too forgiving to people and are incapable of telling assholes to back off when necessary, then you finish last.
Why loads of hot chicks date jerks, though, is beyond me. :|
mm thought provoking.
how evr, i cannot understand why you say so. if it was me, i will not blame my boy friend for treating others better than me. i would bear it as long as he loves me. that is it. and there are times when you have to make your partner the 2nd in the line. don't you think so?
In speaking of the guys who are NICE to ladies, may be the girls are not brave enough to think that they can have the NICE guys. so, they go out with jerkes and dream about the NICE guys. On the other hand, HOT CHICKS going after JERKES is understandable.
Only a NICE girl will go out with a NICE guy.
Do not worry although most of the ladies today are into the JERKS. There should be at least a small pool of NICE ladies from which you can choose to your heart's content.
But they cannot be easily found as the nitty witty girls who would go with any asshole.
wait and one day you will find one of them.
then you can be happy.
After all patience brings better outcomes
cheers buddy!!
@Makuluwo - Oh, is that what it means? Then I guess I'm not a nice guy after all. :D
Dunno if that's good or bad, though. Oh well.
@deeps - Quote: "wait and one day you will find one of them.
then you can be happy."
I guess I kinda came off as though I was whining about being single. That wasn't what I was trying to imply at all. Im not whining. :D
It's just that I'm amazed by the surprisingly high number of girls who are dating the kind of guys you wouldn't want your worst enemy to go out with. It's just weird.
But, like you said, I suppose only a NICE girl would go out with a NICE guy. Makes sense.
Yep. Only a NICE girl wld go out with a NICE guy. But, what qualifies as 'nice' according to you? What makes a 'nice' person, in your opinion, not what Makuluwo thinks?' :P
Um... an understanding person who wouldn't break your neck if you forgot to change the batteries of the TV remote? :p
Also, how do WE know you were/are so 'nice'???? :P :P :P:P.... maybe you weren't so nice to her, the way she wanted u to be nice :P :P :P.... or maybe u were nice to her, but turned nasty heheh... I knew a guy who was really nice to me at first, but then kinda turned a bit strange :P :P....
But, if you'r really 'nice'... dont worry, you'll finish on top. Sometimes, ppl just dont appreciate certain things about you. The right one will come along n do that :P :P... good luck :) :)
Sry about leaving two comments, i always rembr smth later to add :P
No worries. Thanks for stopping by. :)
Ah, well, dont worry.. ul find such a person :P... if u cant, let's clone one... im on a mission to clone Mr. Nice :P :P... Nice n perfect :P
well the answer to ur question is in ur comment - "The hottest chicks are dating the biggest jerks you know".
Exactly. You say the hottest NOT the nicest chicks. Face it, most hot chicks aren't that nice. :D
chee chee nice guy.. now, let ur ex-girlfriend be.... ;p ;p... dont say that about her.. then ul look not nice ;p
I think the definition of NICE, goddessofvileness, is always relative!
Someone who doesn't break your neck when you mess up the remote control is nice compared to someone who breaks your neck. But he's BLAH compared to someone who makes you an icecream sundae even though you smashed the remote control with a hammer. :P
@niroshini - I was just generalising there. It's not just the "hot" chicks (as you put it) that go out with jerks. There are "nice" girls too who seem to think that holding hands with known womanisers, jerks, assholes (call them what you will) somehow makes them look "cool". :)
@goddessofvileness - Dunno if you noticed, but I rewrote the entire mid section of my post because... well... I didn't think I was being very "nice" to my ex there. :D
@Makuluwo - You've got to be kidding me!
So between someone who wouldn't beat you up for messing up the remote, and someone who'd make you an ice cream sundae even after you smashed up the remote (with a hammer, no less), who would you honestly pic? Not Mr. Nice Guy, obviously... right? :D
Nice post... but niceness is subjective, yes?
Yes, it is. :)
But whichever way you choose to define it, will you ever be truly satisfied with a "nice guy"? Wouldn't you much rather go out with a stereotypically "bad boy"?
By the way, this is not directed specifically at you. I'm just wondering... wouldn't most women prefer a Bad Boy to a Nice Guy? At least in a modern Colombo centric sense?
Agree with Hijinx. It is subjective and you might not be as nice as you think you are...or you might be 'the jerk' who ended up with the sorta hot chick you talk about. Who knows.
Plus guy fights are hot.
But at the end of the day, does it really matter how 'nice' you are or what makes you 'nice'? Because, I mean...wouldn't you rather that someone likes you for you, your whole package including nice/not nice/skinny legs/etc, than you attempting to embrace a stereotypical definition of nice?!
Did that even make sense?!
I'd pick the guy who'd make me an icecream sundae! I kid you not! But that's just because I like icecream a lot. :P
As for my personal preference in guys on the subject, I'd pick a witty humourous down to earth fellow, regardless of how nice or bad he happens to be.
But then, that's just me. ;)
@Sabby -
Um... okay.
The intention of my post was not to portray myself as a nice person, and my apologies if it seemed that way.
It was just using myself as an example there. And in case you didn't notice I was actually trying to defend myself for being a "nice guy." :p
"But at the end of the day, does it really matter how 'nice' you are or what makes you 'nice'? Because, I mean...wouldn't you rather that someone likes you for you, your whole package including nice/not nice/skinny legs/etc, than you attempting to embrace a stereotypical definition of nice?!"
'Course I would. And I think the answer to that from all of us, male or female, nice or not so nice, would be a resounding 'yes'.
"Did that even make sense?!"
It made perfect sense. :)
I know, I know.
I was just saying that we are not what we think are in another's point of view. =)
Plus, as someone said (I forget), nice guys are a dying a breed so us women really do appreciate the ones that are still around...so if you are one, then know that I for one appreciate your mere existence.
I am on some sorta roll today. Don't mind me. =)
@Makuluwo - So as long as he's witty, humorous, etc, etc. you really won't mind even if he is the type of guy who fits Sabby's definition of "nice" ("a guy who gives lots lots LOTS lots lots lots LOTS of attention!" - from her comment on TheWhacksteR's post, IMO, the kind of guy who'll probably never leave your side - even when you really want him to) OR a royal jerk who'll dump you the second someone else comes along?
If you had to choose between two such guys, and both of them were "witty, humorous, down to earth, etc, etc.", who would you pic? :D
@Sabby - It's all good. :)
Sweetie, NO one with an IQ above 50 picks someone who would dump them the second someone else comes along. That's just common sense. :P
And lots and lots and lots and lots of attention can get a bit annoying for me.
So, neither please! Neeext. :D
'Witty, humorous and down-to-earth' applies without obvious extremes, such as 'clingy-attention-giving', 'slutty-jerkoff', 'mass murderer', 'rapist' etc. :P
Sabby - Plus guy fights are hot.
LOL like, seriously?
Iv had this discussion with a 'nice' boy who actually made a lot of sense in analysing this situ. (Take note boys:)
When girls are in their teens/early 20's thrills count for a lot. So a 'jerk' scores more often that not over a 'nice' boy cz they tend to be more exiting. The elusiveness of this variety boy plays a big role in keeping the relationship, however rocky it is, going. And more often that not, girls who have dated a 'jerks' know how crazy a relationship can get. (In the extreme scenario, was there a 'relationship' at all :P)
Later in life though, after all the 'jerks' have made enough of a bad impression, we tend to go for the more nice, safe secure guys who will not take us for granted or break our hearts intentionally.
It's a backward bending curve, in economic terms. The younger you are, the more risks you take. The older you get, you look for security.
Moral : The 'nice' guy who was shoved aside earlier and who didnt even make it onto the radar earlier becomes the intended target subsequently :)
So all 'nice' boys, be patient :) Players, clean your act up :P
@Makuluwo -Point taken. :)
@TheWhacksteR and Sabby - Aren't cat fights supposed to be hotter? :p
@Thinu - Agreed.
Guy fights are hot if they're fighting over YOU. :D
Otherwise it's just ape-ish. Remember WWF Wrestling, people? Ew. :/
Whacky: Yah-huh!
PB: I wouldn't know about cat fights.
Mak: Well...duh! No apes for me, thank you! =)
cat fights are hot :)
makuluwo, WWF/WWE ladies wrestling is not that bad...
I didn't read all the comments (sorry) but nice guys don't always finish last. Most of the time yes because girls are stupid (not ll of us but most). It's crap for you guys but there are girls out there who love nice guys! Give me a nice, well mannered, tall (optional) guy over a jerk any day!
And like some of the others say - niceness is subjective!
Hey, thanks for stopping by. :)
Yes, niceness is subjective, and yes, there maybe a handful of girls out there who really do like nice guys (whichever way they define 'nice'), but at the end of the day, every girl, including those who genuinely like the stereotypically nice guys, will want her guy to be a "nice asshole" - at least according to the conclusion reached following this uh... "debate" anyway.
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